Disabled Single Mom Needs Help w/Daughter's College & Health

My daughter Kayla and I both battle a rare genetic connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), as well as many comorbidities (POTS/Dysautonomia, Gastroparesis, CFS, Hypothyroidism, MCAS, etc). 

Although I have been disabled since I was 21 years old, I did not receive an accurate diagnosis until I was 38. My whole life started to make sense once I finally did. 

I now understood why my knee started "locking" when I was 12 years old (it was actually subluxing), why I had to have major surgery on it when I was 17, why my c-section incision ruptured in 2003, why my colon randomly ruptured in 2011, and why I never felt the same after that. 

I pursued the diagnoses after noticing that young Kayla started to experience many of the same symptoms that I had: dizziness, lightheaded,  fatigue, racing heart rate, subluxations (partial dislocations), gastrointestinal issues, pain, joint issues, sleep issues, heat intolerance, being debilitated by changes in the weather, etc.

For 18 years, I was told that all of these symptoms were Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and that nothing could be done for them. So much more was going on in not only my body, but also in my daughter's. 

The good news was that we had answers and I could spare Kayla the misdiagnoses and judgment (from doctors, teachers, friends, peers, etc) that I endured for decades.

If anything, doctors get excited to meet us now because it's not often that they get to see EDS outside of their medical textbooks.

Despite the health issues we faced, I was able to earn an associate degree in Psychology and a bachelor's in Bible and Theology during Kayla's elementary school years. 

Unfortunately, the colostomy surgery and reversal surgery, as well as single parenting, took a toll on my health. By the time I graduated from Bible College, I was not well enough to put those degrees to use. I am determined that someday I will find the right combination of treatments (or that God will miraculously heal me) so that I can. 

Watching me has made Kayla even more determined to earn a degree and to have a successful career. I want better for her and so does she. 

As Kayla got older, her physical needs and expenses increased because symptoms became more apparent. Like many moms, my health took a backseat to hers and I did all that I could just to get her a high school diploma. At one point, I even spent two and a half hours a day driving to and from her school, to find the best educational fit for her. 

We went from public school to private school (on partial scholarships) to finally resorting to homeschooling with in-person co-op classes due to the amount of absences Kayla had. All of these changes were a lot for her, but she handled them much better than I would have at her age and, unlike teen me, she knew to turn to God. 

The poor girl had horrible symptoms, symptoms that I had never even heard of, and the hardest ones hit her much younger than they hit me. Through this, Kayla learned to persevere and became a diligent student. I am still amazed by the GPA she graduated with in May of 2023!  

We weren't sure if college would ever be a feasible option for Kayla due to how much the daily symptoms limited her. Just six months ago, she could not walk from the front door of our home to our car without assistance. 

Kayla is now in the second semester of her Freshman year at a small, Christian university and she loves it! 

I truly can't believe that she is in college, living in a dorm, and able to walk the campus. It feels like a miracle! 

Kayla still has daily (sometimes hourly) symptoms, but she is determined to fight through so she can earn a degree and have a career that she can work around her health. 

Despite receiving many scholarships and student loans, Kayla currently has an outstanding balance for both semesters (Fall 2023 & Spring 2024) that equals almost $4,000. Her health limits her ability to have a traditional job, especially on top of completing her coursework. 

I have monthly medical/food/beverage expenses for her (the foods she can tolerate are very limited), on top of remaining debt from her high school expenses, and the medically necessary items needed for her to survive dorm life. 

We are always looking for new ways to find relief and improve her quality of life. Some of them work and some don't. The costs add up quickly! 

I have been raising Kayla alone since she was 4 years old. Her father moved 700 miles away 4 days after our divorce was finalized, has battled addiction, and has been homeless for almost 2 years now.

He also owes me over $26,000 in child support arrears. Legal action was taken, but he still did not pay. This definitely made our daily lives extremely challenging, but we see the impact on another level now that Kayla is in college. With that said, we pray for him daily.

Since Kayla moved into the dorm, I suspect that most people think that I have a ton of free time on my hands. I can see why people would expect that, but the truth is that I’m still managing her health…I’m just doing it from afar. Sometimes that’s even more complicated (and heart-wrenching) than her being home, but I'm doing all that I can to give her as normal of a life as possible. 

Additionally, I'm trying to finally take care of my own health, which has worsened due to burning the candle at both ends for so long. In fact, I just finished wearing a heart monitor for a week in hopes of finding clearer answers. 

The most immediate need is $4000 to pay off Kayla's current balance, so this is the first goal amount I listed. Without that $4,000, she will not be able to return to school in the Fall. 

Her dream is to graduate from this university with a degree and a promising career. Kayla feels like God led her to this exact school. It would break our hearts to see this dream and opportunity end.

The full goal amount needed for all four years of college and medical expenses is $32,600. That number is huge and overwhelming, so we're starting off lower. 

Every donation will be put towards Kayla's education (past, present, and future) and Kayla's medical needs. 

It is very difficult for me to put our needs on here like this. Very! There have been times when I have gone without food, medicine, or necessities so I could make sure that Kayla had what she needed. I never told anyone how bad it was and just focused on her. 

For years, people have been suggesting that I do this, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. This time, the needs have become way more than I can sacrifice to meet, so I'm putting aside my pride and asking for help...And I'm sincerely praying that I won't be judged for doing so. I hope that I will instead be met with grace and kindness.

If you happened to stumble across this page, thank you for stopping by. We would appreciate your prayers whether you feel led to give or not. 

Despite being 205 miles apart, Kayla and I still talk daily, she texts me multiple times a day asking to pray for relief, and we do our prayers together every night. Please know that every single person, family, or organization that donates will be prayed for by us! 

We will pray favor over you, pray for any specific request you list in the comments (even if you don't donate), and ask Him to bless you ten times over. 

If you have time, please click the arrow next to our picture to watch a video of Kayla's graduation speech/testimony and to see how incredible my daughter is. Thank you for reading and may God bless you all! 

P.S. If you're reading this from your phone, be sure to turn it sideways to see what some of her specific needs are. It helps to know what your donations would be helping with.