Domestic Abuse Phoenix Needs Help

Domestic Abuse Phoenix Needs Help

From Phoenix Rising

I'm raising money to start over!! As a survivor of abuse, and a mother starting over, I need your help to get safe, go to school for trauma therapy, and pay forward your help by helping others!

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First, I apologize that I don't have a lot of photos or social media links. Those are symptoms of my problem.  I am an abuse survivor in hiding. Despite enduring years of abuse at the hands of a mentally ill clinical malignant narcissist - physical, mental, emotional, financial... - I still have a fire burning inside me to be a light in the world.

In 2023 I left my abuser with just a bag over my shoulder and the dogs - no one was safe from him. It was the 2nd time I'd tried to leave. By this time, he had drained me of all of my money, my health - I now have MS, my professional reputation, and my identity. I had to leave and leave my children behind - their father is NOT my abuser - and I was told by the experts familiar with my abuser's personality type that I can NOT go back.

A few months later, my oldest son passed away. Because of the danger related to going back to my home city, I had to deal with arrangements for my son via text, email, and online ordering and have my son cremated and mailed to me. No mother should ever have to go through anything like that, let alone by herself.

I don't have a large support network - as an abuse victim, I have been isolated from the small family I have and have no friends. I have no social media presence. I have had to change my identity to be safe, which means I can't rely on my resume for a good-paying job, nor can I rely on my past qualifications. I can't legally change my name until I file for divorce, and I've been advised that getting a W-2 job in my new location with my old name will be traceable by my abuser. He's THAT guy.  I tried going back to my roots as a complementary therapist to make ends meet but just before Christmas the Board of Health came knocking on my door for practicing without a license. My car engine blew up after I left so I have to rent one through a private arrangement because I also can't buy and register a car in my old name for the same reason. Of course, he ruined my credit, so I wouldn't qualify for a loan anyway.

By the end of 2023 I was ready for there to NOT be a 2024. How can I support my teenage daughter, pay rent, feed myself, work, heal, treat my MS? I felt hopeless. But on New Year's Eve, I sobbed as 2023 counted down to 00:00 and 2024 arrived and a spark rose up in me. I am not a victim, I am a survivor, and before my abuser, no one told me I couldn't do something. I LEFT that relationship for a reason and the only one with a hold on me is me. My power is in the present, not the past, and SO MANY people like me need to know the same thing. I have C-PTSD and was blessed to be offered counseling through one of the domestic violence shelters I worked with. That helped me become familiar with and experience alternative trauma therapies. I have started doing some research and want to extend my therapy studies from years ago to become a trauma therapeutics practitioner. I want to help others, speak, post on social media, and become a conduit for healing.

I AM FEELING GOOD NOW!! I meditate and write out my affirmations every morning. I am using the tools I learned in therapy and have released negativity in my life. I am a can-do kid! I haven't figured it all out yet, but I believe in the power of what I have been through, what there is to learn, and the beautiful transformative effect it can have on others. I literally have released pain from my body manifested from my trauma through the therapy modalities I want to learn in order to help others.

But in order to do any of THAT, I first need to GET DIVORCED! I haven't had the money. After I file for divorce, I can file the petition for my name change and all that goes with that for domestic violence survivors to be safe. I have identified the courses I want to take, and they have payment plans for tuition, I just need the deposit. I will work on setting up my business with the therapies I CAN practice without specific state licensing while I work on the courses for those that DO. And I want to set up a non-profit as well. I also need to figure out how to create a social media presence with podcasts and informative, helpful information while protecting my identity. But I'm working on that!

I hope you will help me. I will pay it forward a million times over. Together we will literally save lives. Before my abuser took away the very essence of who I was, I was a speaker for work, I was always told I had a great energy about me and a great way of engaging and impacting people. The subject matter wasn't nearly as important then as now, and I have found myself again.

I am asking for enough to cover the quote I got from the attorney for an uncontested filing, the deposit for my course, filing fees for my name change, and help for business setup costs. I will absolutely make great use of any funds I receive over and above my immediate needs listed to help others.

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