From Emma Shanahan

Young woman with severe PTSD, untreated for 14 years, I'm 28. Abusive home/parents. Became disabled, just had regained ability to walk. Gang raped and drugged by my own neighbor/men. Scared and need help, urgently.

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Sorry if this is a long one. 

I don't know what information to include, each time I begin- I've had so much trauma, my therapist dropped me. Today. 

I would say, as someone who has pretty much had all the kinds of traumatic events, an abusive home too so never felt safe,  I thought my life couldn't get much worse. I had lost my ability to use my leg/foot in May, had a numb right leg and foot drop. EMG showed severe sciatic nerve damage and damage throughout... he couldn't figure it out. 

I am pretty aware, because my central nervous system is fried. I can feel it. 

I was already stuck inside for 2 months, and I tried to stay as positive as I can. 

I thought I knew people were capable of being bad people, undiagnosed mental illness perhaps causing their abuse - this was a level of evil I didn't know existed. Couldn't fathom.

But yet- my problem is one Ive always had- abusive parents who can't even be halfway decent after their daughter was gang raped. 

Basically, she told me I'm going to die or have a permanent mental collapse. With the little support I do have, and parents who she knows are beyond abusive, in every way except sexually. 

I got molested/assaulted anyway at age 14. This was when I was just barely coming from an eating disorder/suicide attempt - in which everyone, teachers were asking me things, comments - 

have already made  me push away processing that traumatic event I must heal from and get help, 

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