I went to school for you

.. We had to introduce ourselves to the class the other day. The professor asked for us to write"a little something " about ourselves and why it was that we were taking this course (Paralegal Studies) and to share on our bulletin board...  this is what i wrote.. This is me.

 Hi everyone! My name is Carina Mendoza, I am 36 years old and live in Kendall County, about an hour away from Chicago, IL.  I was working as a legal assistant for a reputable attorney in one of the surrounding counties but had to leave because I chose to study and couldn't do both work and study while being a single mom to 3.. I know I made the right choice because the future will be so much better for us once im done. I miss my job so much.. it  literally just landed in front of me. A massive blessing, so I took the opportunity! I’m so glad I did because it has changed my life. 

My story is an interesting one, and if you would’ve asked me if I thought I would end up in this field years ago, I probably would have laughed and said, “yea right”. I am the daughter to first-generation immigrants, whom truly have lived the American dream. My grandfather was the owner of the very first Mexican grocery store EVER, in Aurora, IL.,  the business had stayed in the family since the early 70’s until recently due to my parents both suffering major medical issues. . In my mind, I always imagined myself following suit and continuing my family’s legacy in the grocery business. Little did I know, God had a very different plan for me. Previous to this job I had never worked outside of our business, and quite frankly, I didn’t want to either. I have three children, two boys, and one girl who is my little clone (lucky me...) And was blessed with the ability be a stay-at-home mom for the past six years. Sounds great, doesn’t it? It wasn’t. I was married for the first time to my high school sweetheart in 2013 and quickly filed for divorce in 2014. I unfortunately was a victim of domestic violence. This is where my journey into the legal world began. 

Growing up, the idea of not being a statistic was embedded in me from day 1, and having to accept that my life was not perfect, and that I had fallen into a very dark, dark place that I could not get out of alone was embarrassing... even though I now recognize that there was nothing embarrassing about it at all. There is an organization here, called mutual ground, and I had met a young lady that worked for them at the courthouse when I went to file for an order of protection after my then husband had been taken into custody for what he had done to me. I never forgot her as she was the first person that left an overwhelming mark in my life, and made the courthouse not seem like a scary place after all. During the criminal case and divorce, I worked with another woman who was the states attorney advocate (Silvia Cruz) and was extremely supportive and helped empower me. Made me want to keep moving forward and sparked curiosity about the possibility of potentially one day being able to help someone at the courthouse, just like me… too. The idea had kind of stayed there for a while. My ex went to jail for two years and as soon as he got out his supervised visitations had started with my son. Can you guys guess what happen next...?  That’s right. Back to the courthouse we go.

 Things in my life went downhill from there, as the problems seemed never ending, and I just could not see the end of these battles, and couldn’t imagine when the day would come that the war would be over between this man and I.

 One day my son came home from a visitation and the unthinkable had happened to him. The absolute worst-case scenario. I couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell me as he at the time was 4 years old almost 5 and had just recently learned to talk because he was late meeting milestones due to his autism. The terms he used to describe what was wrong with him physically didn’t really make sense the first time he had complained, I didn’t understand what he was referring to. Luckily it took nothing more than one visit after that for me to physically see what had happened and the horror that he had been living every single time he would visit his biological father.

The next part of my story, which IS absolutely necessary to tell is graphic, so if you are easily offended, stop reading here. 

 On the next visit, my son had come home complaining of pain and he went to the bathroom. I could hear him whining and making noises I had never heard him make before. I opened the door and walked in and nearly passed out at the site. At this time, I was remarried to my new husband, and yelled for him to come quickly. He saw my son and yelled for me to rush him to the emergency room, which I did. Within three minutes of us being there, they had rushed us to a private area where there were no other patients. Before I knew it, the room was full of doctors, specialists and nurses coming to document exactly what was going on. DCFS, CAC, our cities police department, county AND state police officers showed up... Everyone took my statement which I had to repeat over and over again. My son had been sexually abused by his biological father… and there was an extreme amount of physical proof. October 13, 2019, I lost my self along with my son’s innocence. The next morning, back to the courthouse I went. We were granted our second order of protection and luckily, my son has never seen that monster EVER again. Although I have never seen the attorney that represented me outside of the office or the courthouse, I can say with a great smile on my face and with perfect certainty, (Terry McAdams of McAdams & Sar****) is now a great friend of mine, and a staple in my journey as well. I will never have enough words or the right words to be able to finish describing the amount of gratitude and appreciation I have for her and everything that she did for me and my son.

A few weeks after I found out what happened to my son I had to beg God for a miracle to keep me wanting to stay on this earth. A reason to not stop fighting because I had taken on an overwhelming amount of guilt for what happened to my baby. And just like that God sure did give me a miracle, I found out I was pregnant. There was an angel inside of me. January 6, 2020 once again, tragedy hit our family as I had been involved in a car accident that sent me spinning all over again. I woke up in the hospital and found out that I had lost the baby boy, I had been caring inside of me, and in order to save my life they had to operate in order to repair my pelvic artery, but the damage was far beyond what they had thought and ultimately they had had to perform an emergency endometrial ablation in effort to hopefully avoid a full hysterectomy on me to stop the hemorrhaging. When I woke up… better yet I never woke up from that nightmare… I was consumed in depression, in confusion, in fear, in anger.. I had zero desire for not one more day. My husband couldn’t handle everything I was going through and how I was coping or not coping, and one day I took him up on his words, and I filed for divorce for the second time. We researched, and my father had hired a top attorney in the county (Mol.Pesk*** of P***** Law Firm). I was divorced completely, judgment signed and all, within 4 MONTHS! 

My attorney referred me to a personal injury attorney, whom she referred to as “Great”, and I decided to give her a call. Boy was “Great” an understatement.  She (Katie F. of F. Law Group, P.C.) was at my house the very next day, and I began to tell her my story. We sat in my dining room both in tears as you can imagine it was not an easy story to tell and it sure was not an easy story to hear. This attorney not once ever made me feel ashamed or embarrassed. She comforted me in the most beautiful way and guaranteed me that I was going to be OK. She made it clear that regarding my case, she was going to fight, like she had never fought before, but she couldn’t promise me an outcome. What she did promise me, was that I would find clarity and I would get answers for exactly what happened that day. What happened to my baby, and what happened to my body.  I would find out who stole my ability to have children again and why. And it was true. I received every single answer to the questions I had, and she gave me back one very special thing, she gave me back faith. This woman was genuinely an angel sent to fight the battle I didn’t have the strength to fight myself. She answered every single phone call. She heard every single word. She patiently waited for my tears to dry so that I could continue saying or explaining what I was trying to say in every phone call or meeting that we had together. She helped me get my life back together and watched me grow into the new version of Carina. I will forever be grateful for her in my life, and she too is now one of my great great friends. I’m so blessed to have her.  It was after this case then I realized that the only way I could make my experience “worth it”... Was to figure out a way to pay it forward. If I could find just one person like me to help, then it was all going to be worth it. 

            Now I must go back a little bit in time because amid all of this going on with my personal injury case, I was actually still in court fighting with my sons, biological father. Once the two-year plenary order of protection had expired this man immediately attempted to reestablish parenting time. The judge had very clearly told him that he would never be able to do this, that there most likely would be no judge in the state, especially because he had essentially admitted to what he had done, ever give him the right to reestablish time with him... But of course, this man had to try it. 

Once again, i went back to my amazing Attorney Molly P., Panicked and drowning in anxiety and let her know what had happened. Assuming she would be able to help and represent me with this also, i went into the conversation with the idea that we would go in and blow this man away and knock it out quickly like we did the divorce, and she hit me with the news. She couldn't represent me as it was a different county, she didn’t work in. I asked for a referral and clearly said to her, “Molly, I don't want a Pitbull, I need a savage with rabies” and without even thinking about it, said “JODY W.. THEY ARE ‘GREAT’”. I knew of course that when she said “Great”... She actually meant indescribably phenomenal hands down top of the top! So I called... And Jody was out of town! Dear God, what was I going to do!?! I don't remember much from that conversation honestly, it's a bit of a blur and traumatic to recollect… all i know is that the attorney on the other end of the phone recognized my shear panic, and i sure DO remember her tone of voice asking “well, if you don't mind, my  Name is Carrie G., I also am an Attorney here in the office, if its ok with you, I would be glad to help.'' I thought to myself “ thank you Lord, you never let me down”. And he sure didn't. 

Carrie has now represented me for the past year and a half and boy is it ever an honor to have her represent me. She sat on that bench countless times, held my hand and helped me breathe when I felt my world was ending at the sight of the man that robbed my son of ever living the same way ever again. The man that destroyed his innocence and permanently physically scared my son so he would never ever forget what he did to him. Carrie held my hand, constantly reminded me “its ok, i got your back” “you’re ok, it’s going to be ok”... “I'm here just breathe” she got me through over 12+ court dates with this animal. Despite the fact that I attended each hearing by myself with zero support from family or friends, I know I was NEVER alone. I am so blessed because I know that I will never be alone again, and even when I think no one notices, or acknowledges if I'm here or not...  if I’m ok or not... If I am SAFE or not, Carrie knows. Carrie Cares, and Carrie will look for me, find me, and make sure my children and I are happy, healthy, safe and sound. She is a force to be reckoned with, and I found myself thinking, how can I ever repay her? How could I ever accurately thank her for being my strength in every single court date we attended. Would it even be possible to pay that forward? 

    Well, they say be careful what you ask for... Wild guess what happens next? Back to the courthouse I went... 

This time I had gone as a favor to help a "friend". I had advised this friend to quickly call the attorney that had helped me with my son and. I went for their first court appearance. Walking into the courthouse. I received a phone call; the attorney was not going to be able to make it!! I was worried as I didn’t know what I was going to say to my friend, but I was assured that the attorney going in her place was amazing and we were in good hands. Prior to going to court, I had compiled some ledgers for this friend and gathered some discovery to help move things along, and when I saw the attorney that had shown up for us, I quickly went and introduced myself. I told her that I was there with the person she would be representing, and I was going to give her some documents and catch her up to speed as far as what was going on in the case, she looked at me like I was crazy and didn't say a word but listened. She then looked at the documents I had for her, looked at me and looked back at the documents and quickly asked “Who did this...? Who made these?”. I stood quietly and then responded “I did “. She looked at me and gave me a quick smile and said, “you’re going to work for me”. I laughed. I laughed so loud I’m pretty sure everyone in that hallway heard me. I said back to her “I’m sure that would be great…”. I walked away, thinking to myself “yeah right she’s probably laughing at me making fun of me there’s no way she meant that”. How could anybody want to hire me after everything I have been through. I was a completely different person just trying to survive after losing what seemed like “everything”. I didn’t give her my phone number, I didn’t ask for her card, I just ended up leaving that day impressed with how smoothly things went and honestly a bit disappointed that I had not found her myself sooner for one of the many issues I had previously had. She was a savage and I liked it. 

The next morning, I received a phone call from a number that I didn’t recognize. I picked it up and Attorney Kate C. of C. and Associates was on the line. She asked if I could come in to speak with her and I said yes. I was quickly on my way, when I showed up, I had taken out of my portfolio a bunch of other documents and ledgers that I had made myself for my cases. I wanted to show her what I was capable of and I couldn’t believe that I was actually in an interview or what I thought was an interview. She didn’t even want to look at it. She said “Carina the job is already yours. Let’s talk about money…” I put everything away, and I said, “OK let’s talk”. She offered me something I couldn’t refuse, especially considering that I had absolutely zero experience working in law firm and all I had was just my personal life experience in hand. This attorney saw something in me that I had not seen, she gave me an opportunity that changed my life forever again. It gave me a reason to wake up, a reason to fight, a reason to find a little bit of the old Carina that had left many many moons ago and here I am now. Months later enrolled in this program to become a paralegal. 

I am so excited to finally know why it is that I went through what I went through. I went through it so that I would have experience to be able to firsthand tell my clients that I understand. I can’t guarantee anything or give legal advice... BUT, I CAN guarantee loyalty, I can guarantee patience, I will always try my best. I always have a pad of paper and a pen in hand for notes as I always pay close attention to detail and write EVERYTHING down. I can guarantee that I care about the work that I’m doing and value my client and their time. I guarantee that I no longer am afraid of anything. I never avoid hard work and I will always go the extra mile and take a risk or two if I have to. I was in absolute love with my job, and I can’t wait to get my certificate and be able to officially call myself a “Paralegal”.

Unfortunately, I didn't realize how hard or what a financial burden this was going to be on me and my family. I literally have about $.47 in the bank and use what little money I receive here and there from my daughters father to pay the next disconnection bill. I went from temporarily having it all and affording to give my babies the life the deserved again, to being back living penny penny while I study. I know that it will be worth it and as soon as I'm done with school. Hopefully my life will be back on track. Yes, I do have a job lined up post graduation... The finish line seems eternal, bills cause me extreme anxiety, and the fear of not having clothes or food for my kids tomorrow keeps me up at night. This is why I am here. To ask you for a little bit of support. Whatever little bit you can give helps. I'm trying my best to pay it forward, but I need your support one last time. I need help from my earth angels to get my children, and I through this last hurdle.

If you can, I appreciate it my children appreciate, and the future clients I help most definitely appreciate the help and support you would be blessing my family and I with.

 I want this more than anything right now. I need this paralegal certificate, and my children are rooting for me.. not knowing how scared I am to get through. Please be a part of this journey with us. Be a piece to our puzzle. Help us get justice for the ones fighting just like us.

Thank You, 

God Bless You, Carina, Daniel, Dario & Lucy.